Revenge
by tumble and fall
Summary: Derek wants revenge. And he knows just how to get it.


Doctor Spencer Reid had been having an awful morning. He had slept through his alarm for the first time in years, disrupting almost every aspect of his morning routine. He had attempted to have a rushed shower, only to find that the showerhead was sending out a flurry of icy-cold droplets when it was turned on, causing him to curse loudly, something that Spencer made a point not to make a habit of. Skipping breakfast had been his only option if he had wanted to make it into work on time, and his usual jaunt to the small coffee shop on the corner also had to be forfeited. The young genius could already feel the first throes of caffeine withdrawal kicking in as he pushed on the glass doors separating him from the offices of the FBI Behavioural Analysis Unit, stomach gargling ruefully as he walked into the bullpen area.

Despite most probably being the last person to leave on the daily commute to the offices, he seemed to be the first person to have arrived. The bullpen was quiet – almost eerily so – with the usually occupied desks vacant of any bodies whatsoever. The near-constant clatter of laptop keys was absent, the only sounds being the low murmur of voices coming from behind the closed doors of the offices overlooking the cramped space, and the deep hum of the air conditioning unit housed between the ceiling and the floor above.

Checking his watch, Spencer almost expected it to tell him he was early, and that he had forfeited his morning coffee for nothing, but upon glancing at the time, he noticed it was nine forty-five, and he was actually fifteen minutes late. In those fifteen minutes, the room should have filled up, near enough thirty agents all sitting at their desks, writing up reports on past assignments and being given the news that they wouldn't be heading home tonight, rather heading to another state to catch yet another one of the monsters that the BAU chased so relentlessly. Thinking of no other explanation that the team were being briefed on another case, Spencer started to make his way to the conference room, the closed blinds giving him no indication if there were agents in the room or not. As he passed one of the partitions separating two of the desks normally occupied by agents, a sharp tug at his wrist pulled him from his feet to the floor with a loud thump.

"Morgan!" Spencer hissed after realising that it was only his friend that had caused him to fall over, and not a crazed madman that had killed everyone, causing the silence, "You scared me half to death!"

The muscular build of Derek Morgan placed a finger to his lips, motioning for Spencer to keep quiet. The African-American handed Spencer a brightly coloured gun, similar to those that the three other sitting people held in their hands. Spencer gazed at Emily Prentiss, David Rossi and Jennifer Jareau in confusion, shaking his head as he did so.

"What is this?" he asked, pointing towards the rainbow-clad hunk of plastic now resting in his lap, "A water gun?"

Derek chuckled and shook his head as a smirking Emily held up several small, red foam disks.

"NERF guns," she supplied with a groan when Spencer continued to look confused, even more so due to the tiny pieces of foam ammo, "They're build so children can have play-fights with the, but we think they may have their uses."

"Remember the prank Garcia and Kevin played last week, locking us out of all of our computers for more than an hour?" Derek asked, referring to the team's bright, happy-go-lucky technical analyst and her boyfriend, also an FBI employee. Spencer nodded, remembering the hell that he had been put through whilst trying to finish his last field report of the night.

"Well," Derek said with an evil grin, "This is our revenge."

"And Hotch is alright with this?" Spencer asked sceptically. It was Jennifer that answered this time, a smirk identical to Morgan' plastered across her face.

"He's in a meeting with Strauss," the blonde announced, "We have at least an hour. Morgan just text Garcia, so she and Kevin should be here any moment now."

Just as Jennifer finished her sentence, the tell-tale clack of Penelope Garcia's heeled feet sounded through the empty office. Spencer spared a moment to think about how the four had managed to remove every other agent from the room, but could only come up with the possibility that they had all wanted revenge for not being able to finish their paperwork as well, and had cleared out upon first being asked.

"No, I'm sure he said here. He said it was urgent, and required our immediate attention."

Spencer could hear Derek attempting to hold in a snigger as they all listened to the confused tone in the computer whizz's voice.

"He isn't here though. Maybe it was just a joke. I don't see anyone at all," they heard Kevin say slowly.

"Oh, we're here all right," Derek called, standing up from his hiding place. Jennifer and David followed suit, Emily pulling a slightly reluctant Spencer to his feet. Penelope and Kevin turned at the sound of Derek's voice, gawking at the makeshift army.

"Fire!" Derek bellowed, letting loose a hail of foam ammo at the two surprised analysts. Penelope let out a loud shriek as soon as she realised what was happening, pulling Kevin with her as she ducked behind one of the many vacant desks, using the heavy metal surface as a shield. Another round of ammo was handed out to the makeshift assault crew by David, an evil grin spread from ear to ear as they slowly made their way towards their victims. For of the already spent disks were thrown their way in a feeble attempt at defence by the vastly outnumbered computer geeks. As they rounded the corner, exposing the pair, Derek gave the signal to let loose again. Several disk smashed off the back of his head, and everyone turned to see a smiling Emily, who shrugged off Derek's glare.

"Couldn't resist," she smirked, and those two words were enough to start everything off. Derek opened fire on the raven-haired agent as she shrieked with laughter, attempting to fend off her severely pissed-off friend. Soon, a full scale war was in progress, with glow-in-the-dark bullets and disks flying around the heads of the agents as they attempted to attack each other with a wrath that was virtually impossible to recreate with soft children's toys. Even Spencer joined in, firing off several shots into Derek's back in an attempt to save Emily from impending death by foam.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?"

Everyone froze mid-attack as the sickeningly familiar female voice floated past their ears. Even Penelope, who had been in mid-wrestle with Derek in a futile attempt to disarm him, stood still, staring in horror at the two figures in front of them.

"We can explain," Emily started, but she could already see by the look on Erin Strauss' face that any attempt at explanation just now would be met with screaming and shouting. Erin was furious.

"Clean this mess up," Erin hissed, motioning to the office, which was now in disarray, with desks and office stationary strewn across the floor, "And then, you can all report to my office. And yes, 'you all' includes you, Dave."

And with that, the woman turned on her heel, leaving the team with the mess that used to be the office.

"Hotch, I am so sorry, this was my idea," Derek stammered at the Unit Chief stood in front of him. Aaron Hotchner merely raised an eyebrow, casting an eye over the small pile of guns that had quickly appeared as soon as the agents had heard the voice of the Section Chief above the battle cries.

"Leave the guns in my office," Aaron announced, turning to head to his office, "And then go and see Strauss. We'll talk about this later."

It didn't take Emily's hawk-like eyesight to see the smile that Aaron Hotchner had been attempting to hide.


End file.
